I’ve put off writing this post 100 times. The thought of being judged by family and friends, the thought of having to have that conversation where they go against our decision and give us a million reason why we shouldn’t home ed and try to explain how weird our children are going to be.

The problem is, I need to be honest, not just with myself, but with my husband and YOU reading this. You are my friends and friendship is built on honesty and not the thought that I do 15 amazing beautiful learning activities a day!

So here is my honesty. I am SCARED, I am NERVOUS and I am WORRIED. In September, 2 weeks time, everyone I know will send their children off to school and nursery and I will have 2 children to teach and continue to help grow.

On one hand, I know that the girls have a passion for learning, a passion for knowledge and a passion for life. I’ve taught Kairi for 4.5 years now and she is a bright and clever little girl with a thirst to know more. She finds a way to learn in everything we do, just this morning at the station she sparked up a conversation about the sloped platform path and we talked all about the systems our country has in place to move the rain and I’m sure this will lead to further learning about where the rain goes.

But on the other hand, I’ve only ever been in schools. I’ve worked in schools, volunteered in schools and learned in schools, I know no other system and neither does my husband, family or friends. We are surrounded by a world that puts all their faith into a system that failed both me and my husband. That would have stopped up from reaching our dreams if it wasn’t for our passion and thirst to learn out in the world. This system though, it teaches children to learn to read early and although Kairi is doing amazing and ahead of her peers now (all because of her passion to learn), I worry, 'What will happen if she isn’t ahead of her peers in 6 months time?'

I know she WILL learn to read, it's not that I think it won’t happen, but I’m anxious about the way my husband will feel if he thinks that she is ‘behind’ or ‘not learning enough’, will we be at a crossroad and stuck on the school decision yet again?

Then, I think about how we just need to stick to it, she will thrive. We know our daughter and we know that she can and will learn better in an environment that she is more comfortable in, in an environment where she will get almost 1 to 1 attention and where she can be challenged and will challenge us every single day. Where she can be free to learn what she wants and where she really can follow her dreams.

So I guess my main worry, the only one that really matters, is the worry of failing her, of failing them both. But I just have to keep remembering that it is that exact worry that will stop it from happening. It is because of my concern of failing her that I will do EVERYTHING in my power to help her achieve her dreams.

So from this anxious but excited mum, if you are ‘offically’ home educating this school year, whether a 4-year-old or 14, then I am with you, I am here for you and I understand how you feel. I would love for you to join our journey and share your own, I have setup an online community where we can share, learn and just let those feelings out. Let's support each other, let's beat these feelings!

You are not alone: Join the Home Education Support for New Starters Group Here!